


you make me wanna act like a girl

by lovenotLOVE



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Squip, BMC Big Bang 2019, Be More Chill Big Bang 2019, Brooke Lohst POV, Brooke Lohst-centric, Canon Het Relationship, Canon Universe, Cardigan Kids, Carnival, Character Study, F/M, Feelings Realization, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, Hierarchies, Introspection, Minor Chloe Valentine/Jake Dillinger, Not Canon Compliant, Puppy Love, Purple Prose, Texting, The Good Place references, breremy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 23:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17928230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovenotLOVE/pseuds/lovenotLOVE
Summary: A look into the character of one Brooke Lohst and her relationship with Jeremy Heere. Oh, and others come along for the ride, too.





	you make me wanna act like a girl

**Author's Note:**

> Recommended listening: Heart Attack by Demi Lovato, which is where the title of this fic comes from.

Brooke considers her late grandmother to be one of the most important people in her life and, as such, has followed her advice of “don't judge a boy by his cover” to the letter as best as she can.

 

To that end, she should not be as observant of Jeremy Heere as her handwriting indicates.

 

Normally, Brooke's in-class history notes reflect the pastel, perfectly written studyblr aesthetic she aspires to have. The inconsistency of the curves in her calligraphic handwriting from today feel like one big mockery of Brooke's stupid infatuation. Call her a perfectionist, but she's the second most popular girl in school. Her _job_ is being perfect. _You shouldn't even be_ looking _at him, Brooke,_ she can hear herself say. _Now you've messed up your posting streak. And for what? Staring at a_ loser? _What will your followers think?_

 

Somehow, though, the voice in her head isn't as harsh as it normally is. Actually, ever since she started paying attention to Jeremy,  _ everything _ has seemed less harsh. Even Jenna calling her out for making heart eyes at him in class didn't seem all that mortifying. Speaking of Jenna… They're sort-of friends independently of Chloe. Brooke figures that it's socially acceptable for the queen bee’s royal consorts to be friendly with each other. So, she picks up her iPhone, unlocks it, and thumbs out a text.

 

_ princessbaby: Jeeeennnnaaaaaaa _

 

_ meme meme thicc girl: whats poppin [B] _

 

_ princessbaby: Jeremy _

 

_ meme meme thicc girl: whomst _

 

_ princessbaby: y,, you called me out for staring at him in class today _

 

_ meme meme thicc girl: oh that greasy kid?? Hes super weird. I heard he's into like, dog people or something. Like. Sexually. _

 

Dog… People??? Brooke shakes her head. She can look that up later.

 

_ princessbaby: idc!! Hes cute!!!! Jenna what does this Mean!!!! _

 

_ meme meme thicc girl: ooo Brooke has a crush ;) how scandalous _

 

Oh.  _ Oh. _ A crush? That's a possibility she hasn't considered until now. In fact, now that Brooke _ really _ thinks about what she feels around Jeremy, it becomes the _ only _ possibility. Brooke Lohst has a crush! Amazing! A miracle! Blush-worthy, too, if the warmth on her face is any indication. A gleeful grin breaks out across Brooke's face, and she buries it in her pillow, erupting in a bout of giggle-snorts. Her whole body is radiating happiness, her smile feeling so bright that it could burn the world. It's the best Brooke has felt in a long,  _ long _ time. Where was this feeling with her previous boyfriends? Is this what they talk about in movies? What does she do now?

 

_ princessbaby: should I ask him out??? _

 

_ meme meme thicc girl: personally??? Sure, bc IDC, but r u willing 2 deal w Chlo’s wrath when she finds out ur dating a loser??? _

 

_ Loser. _ Right. Unfortunately, Brooke _ does _ have a reputation that she wants to uphold. However… When Brooke falls for somebody, it's fast and hard and _ painfully obvious.  _ Chloe will probably find out about Jeremy before Brooke even thinks she's given a hint.

 

_ princessbaby: she's gonna know eventually, probably p soon _

 

_ princessbaby: we've been friends for like. Ever. She knows when I have a crush. So does everyone else but still _

 

_ meme meme thicc girl: o rite I keep forgetting u guys r like super close idk y _

 

_ meme meme thicc girl: o I gtg but uh,, GL w all that!  _

 

_ princessbaby: thx !!! _

 

With that, Brooke shuts off her phone and goes about the rest of her evening in a blissful haze, the falling out she’ll inevitably have with Chloe the farthest thing from on her mind. She falls asleep thinking of icy blue eyes and a pretty pink blush.

 

* * *

 

The next day, a Friday, Brooke tries to emulate Chloe. First, she wakes up at 7, an hour earlier than normal, just to start getting ready for school. About seven minutes are spent staring at her walk-in closet, trying to pick out something impressive to wear.  _ Too slutty, too prudish, too flamboyant, why do I even  _ have _ this still…  _ Brooke scrutinizes her entire closet in a similar manner, until she thinks _ Ah! Perfect! _ Her outfit for today consists of a simple, flowy white T-shirt dress that’s  _ slightly _ transparent upon further inspection, a silver heart-shaped locket, and a dark blue oversized cardigan with matching flats. The logistics behind the outfit are rather simple compared to Brooke’s usual outfit coordination. A white dress makes her seem down-to-earth, like she’s pretty without any extra touches (which is  _ not true, _ no matter how many boyfriends lie and tell her otherwise). The locket adds some shine so that the white isn’t so boring.

 

So much dust comes off the dark blue cardigan nestled in the back corner of her closet that Brooke sneezes when she takes it out. The thing hasn't seen the light since sophomore year, and Brooke doesn’t know why. Its color complements her blonde hair and brings out the brown of her eyes, and it's fuzzy and comfortable on the inside. Then she remembers: Chloe. 

 

_ The second that Brooke walked into Middleborough, she felt a hand snake around her wrist and pull her around a corner. She tried to scream, but was silenced almost immediately. Chloe's wide hazel eyes stared back at her. _

 

_ “Brooke, you can't wear that!” Chloe stage shrieked, pointing at Brooke's new cardigan like it was a bomb about to go off. _

 

_ “What? Why not?” Really, Brooke loved Chloe, she did, but her best friend had a tendency to be a little… very… overdramatic. It was probably no big deal. _

 

_ “ _ Look _.” Following Chloe's finger led Brooke to the figures of Jeremy and Michael. Brooke and Chloe had known the two since third grade. Nice kids, but kind of gross, which made them easy targets. Michael donned his signature red hoodie, and Jeremy… _

 

_ “Oh.” _

 

_ “Exactly! Here, give it to me.” Brooke blinked owlishly. “Now! Before anyone sees you!” _

 

_ “O-okay.” Reluctantly, Brooke shrugged off her protection from the biting chill of New Jersey's winter. She shivered against the blustery winds as her previously warm body was exposed to the harshness of the elements. The tears rolling down her face didn't help counter the cold, either. Chloe quickly ushered Brooke inside the school building, arms wrapped around her as a new source of warmth. _

 

_ “You're lucky you have me.” Chloe's voice softened, probably because she noticed the tear tracks on Brooke's face. “Here, take mine.” Brooke snatched Chloe's jacket from her and put it on with haste. She begrudgingly started her once happy day, suppressing the indignancy that threatened to choke her. _

 

Well, today, Brooke chooses to wear it for the _ opposite reason, thank you very much, Chloe _ . Based on previous dating experience, Brooke knows that guys have a…  _ Thing _ for when their girlfriends wear their clothes. Wearing it, she looks cute, but not like a total sellout. Brooke just hopes it's not  _ so _ subtle that Jeremy won't notice.

 

The second and penultimate step in Brooke’s new routine, after brushing her teeth and washing her face, is selecting the perfect perfume. It has to provide a complement to her outfit and make her seem slightly seductive. Seeing as the Lohst family is somewhat richer than the upper middle class, children and teenagers are raised in what Brooke’s mother calls “sensible decadence.” This Lohst family habit consists of spending excessive amounts of money on luxuries and buying the cheapest possible necessities. That being said, the small white cabinet under Brooke’s bathroom sink is stocked overwhelmingly full with designer perfumes and scented lotions. Being careful not to dirty her dress on the bathroom’s porcelain tile, Brooke kneels down and starts examining the perfume section. 

 

A couple years ago, when her perfume collection started to get  _ really _ big, Brooke spent a couple hours smelling each of her perfumes and lotions and placing them on one of four shelves based on the most recent version of Michael Edwards’ Fragrance Chart: Floral, Amber, Fruity, and Fresh. Floral and Fresh Brooke typically stows away for spring and the beginning of summer. They remind her of clear sunbeams, frills and lace, and the aromatic, lovely roses her mother plants in bountiful rows around their backyard picket fence. Florals and Fresh scents always make Brooke relaxed and pleasantly sleepy, but that isn't very conducive to asking Jeremy out. She puts them aside and moves on to Fruity. Fruity scents carry the buzzing energy of summer. Stifling humidity causing frizzy hair, ice cream and cherry soda dripping down her fingers and chin, and pink flamingo floaties bought en masse by Brooke and her friends are things that come to mind. They're fun and joyful, but the right ones can also be flirty, so Brooke puts them aside to consider while she thinks about the last subgroup: Amber. It's the one she normally wears during fall and winter, fit for nights cuddled by the fire, Thanksgiving dinners, and holly berries. Ambers are Brooke's favorite because they're sugary sweet and timeless. The notes of chocolate and vanilla make them the most explicitly seductive of the four subgroups. When she wears them, Brooke imagines herself as a sweet treat made high in the Swiss Alps: wrapped up and waiting to be eaten by an eager consumer.

 

Ultimately, Brooke decides to go with a Fruity scent. She doesn't want to be too forward (read: “slutty”), but she has to give off  _ some _ sort of sensual appeal. So, Brooke spritzes on  _ Love Spell _ , her favorite fruity scent, grabs her things, and is on her way to school with a prepackaged croissant in her backpack.

 

* * *

 

When Chloe Valentine is not at school, people pay no attention to the girls beside her. Okay, _ no _ attention is an exaggeration, but when is second place ever _ really _ acknowledged? The point is, Brooke and Jenna are pretty much free to do whatever they please on their own time. There are two reasons for this. 

 

One, Brooke can testify that Chloe is not truly as vile as she is on the surface. If Brooke were being controlled constantly, she likes to think that she would have left a long time ago. She's free to be friends with and date people, so long as they're in Chloe's bounds of popularity, which have loosened moderately over the years. Brooke is immensely grateful for her best friend being so generous,  _ but since when did giving people basic human rights become something to be admired?  _ a little voice in the back of her head chirps.

 

Secondly, Chloe's backlash for cruelty to her friends is ruthless. Even if the perpetrator doesn't mean to be rude, she systematically destroys every aspect of the their life until they are so far down the social ladder they can never climb back up.  _ Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Middleborough is going to let you play their reindeer games, _ Chloe once quoted, straight out of the _ Heathers _ movie. So, everyone's too afraid to talk to Brooke or Jenna for fear of saying something wrong. 

 

Still, Brooke has to be perfect even on days when she's alone. Not too perfect- that's Chloe's role- but perfect on a level that's unattainable _ , _ yet just within reach. (Brooke's own frustration of being barred from yet free to access that power is what makes her second and Chloe first.) Today, she just wants to be enough for Jeremy.

 

_ Jeremy… _ Brooke's heart flutters at the thought of him. She doesn't actually know much about him, except that he plays video games, his favorite color is probably blue, and he hangs out with Michael all the time. (It's weird how proud knowing the names of the two biggest losers at Middleborough makes Brooke, but it does all the same.) Jeremy has a pretty face, freckled and bony, and wavy auburn hair for Brooke to run her fingers through. God, she hopes he's here today.

 

Standing on her tiptoes, Brooke tries to make out the distinct blue of Jeremy's cardigan. _Nothing… Nothing… Still nothing…_ _Ah! There he is! ...no, that's just Mr. Reyes._ Brooke's palms get increasingly clammy as time passes and she still doesn't see a sign of him. What if he's not here and Brooke can't ask him out today? God knows she can't build up that kind of courage _twice_. Giving a quiet, dejected sigh, Brooke gives up and starts to walk to her first class. She steps away from her locker, turns about forty-five degrees, and collides directly into something broad-shouldered and bright red.

 

“Oh, fuck, sorry,” Michael says, at the same time that Brooke mutters “Ow.” They look at each other, then away as they realize that, by all accounts, they shouldn't be having this encounter. Nevertheless, the two remain glued to their respective spots in tense silence.

 

“Uh.”  _ Nice one, Brooke. _ “I was wondering if, uh…”

 

“If Jeremy's here? He will be. Why?” Michael's shoulders tense, and he backs away a little. Brooke knows a defensive posture when she sees one. It makes her feel like garbage.

 

“I was kinda-- I had a surprise for him.”

 

“Did you?” Michael raises an eyebrow, looking exceptionally nonplussed.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Well, I don't know if you've _ forgotten, _ but the last time you or one of your friends tried to _ surprise _ Jeremy, he ended up being humiliated in front of the whole school. So, yeah, forgive me for being suspicious when you say you have a _ surprise _ .” With that, Michael turns on his heel, sliding his headphones back on.

 

It takes a second for the guilt to come to Brooke, but when it does, it's suffocating. The crowd around her starts to blend into an indiscernible blob of color. Voices buzz in her ear, coated with false sympathy for their suffering manic pixie dream girl. Brooke's time under the lens has finally come, but instead of being enthralled, she _ hates _ it. Everyone's empathy is fake, but then again, she's never expected it to be real. Trying to stay calm and keep her classmates in order, Brooke clears her throat, reigning in the rising chaos.

 

“I'll be fine,” she reassures. “Don't worry about me.” With a collective sigh of relief, the students disperse, skittering off to their respective classes. There, in the empty hall, Brooke starts to sob, harder than ever before.  _ Thank God nobody cares when Chloe's not here. _

 

* * *

 

By the end of the day, Brooke is weary, ready to just go _ home _ and not have to worry about what people think for once. Though all the attention she'd received had been positive, the whole incident just reaffirmed that Chloe is far more suited for the spotlight than Brooke.  _ You really should get help for that, _ her mother's voice says to her.  _ Social anxiety can wear a person down over time. I would know. _ Brooke is gently brought out of her reverie by the buzzing of her phone and looks down to check it.

 

_ meme meme thicc girl: r u gonna ask him out or no _

 

God damn it, Jenna, remembering things like a good friend and trying to be supportive. She's right, though. The school day is almost over, and Brooke has a decision to make. Before she gets cold feet, she sees Jeremy coming up to her. Now she has no choice but to ask him out, not that she ever really had one in the first place. _ God, Brooke, stop being so weak for guys you don't even know! This is why you get hurt so often.  _ Chloe's words echo in Brooke's head, making her bite her lip and look down.

 

“Uh...” Somehow, while Brooke had been thinking, Jeremy stopped in front of her. He's a bit too close and smells faintly of weed, but it doesn't deter Brooke’s blush.

 

“Hi. Jerry, right?” Brooke asks, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as a nervous habit.

 

“Um--  _ Jeremy, _ actually” He corrects her, clearing his throat. “Sorry. About that. And about Michael.” Brooke must be looking at him weirdly, because he's quick to backtrack. “Ah, just so you know, I only know about what happened this morning because he told me about it! I'm not, like, a stalker or anything. Oh, God, you don't believe me, do you?” He sighs defeatedly, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. Cute. 

 

“I believe you.” Brooke reassures, smiling warmly at him. “Uh, what is it, though?”

 

“Michael said you had something for me. Despite what happened… I kinda wanna know why someone as popular as you would spend time on something for a loser like me.”

 

“Oh! Yeah, sure.” She ignores the shock of sympathy that goes through her at Jeremy's words and the sudden longing to kiss his worries away. “Um, so… I know we don't talk to each other a lot because of social stuff, and that you probably don't want to talk to me, also because of that, but…” Brooke extends her hand, as if offering an olive branch. “Would you be willing to go out with me?”

 

It takes a while for Jeremy to actually respond. First, he opens his mouth to answer, but promptly shuts it. Then, his face slowly changes in color, from its natural almost ghastly shade of white, to cherry blossom pink, to a shade of worryingly bright red. If this were a cartoon, Brooke imagines she'd see little bubbles of embarrassment over Jeremy's head.

 

“I-- you what?”

 

“It doesn't have to be a date! We could just, like… do what people do when they hang out normally,” she amends.

 

“Oh! Yeah, sure, absolutely. Just, like…” Jeremy scratches at the nape of his neck absently. “I've never really…  _ been _ on a date or anything before? …Okay, fine, I've never seriously hung out with anyone except Michael. Pretty much ever. So I'm not gonna be the greatest at it.”

 

“That's fine.”  _ I'll lead, _ Brooke wants to add, but guys don't like to hear that. “Are you free tonight?”

 

“Actually… on Fridays I stay over at Michael's and leave at noon the next day. I'm surprised _ you're _ free, considering all the friends you have!”

 

“Well, Chloe's sick, Jenna left to do some early decision college tour, Jake has a million after school things to get to, and Rich goes home right after school. So… That leaves me free for tomorrow?”

 

“Yeah, totally!” Jeremy gives her a closed-mouth smile. “Here…” he says after scribbling something on a crinkled sliver of paper from his pocket, “...is my number, and I'll… text you later, I guess?”

 

“Yeah.” Brooke grins back, showing a tiny bit of her glinting white teeth. “Text you later.” Jeremy walks away to be with Michael, and that's that. As Brooke stares at his retreating back, she leans against her locker and grins dopily. It's a date!

 

* * *

 

The entirety of Brooke's Friday night is spent worrying about Jeremy. Where would he want to go? Does he even _ like _ her like that? Most importantly, should _ she _ text _ him _ to get started with the plans or wait for him to text her? Questions flit back and forth across her mind, in tune with the patter of her pacing across her room. She guesses that the noise is cause for concern, because mid-step, she hears a knock on the door and goes to open it.

 

“Oh. Hi, mom.” Brooke steps out of the way, clearing a path to her room.

 

“Hi, honey. I heard you pacing. Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, I'm fine. Just…” Brooke sighs. “You know how I have that date I told you about tomorrow?” Her mom nods. “I'm just… Kinda nervous. Like, who should make the first move? Where do we go if we haven't really talked and I don't even know if he _ likes _ me like that? Y’know…” Brooke makes a vague sweeping gesture with her arm.

 

“Hmm… Well, what did you first have in mind?”

 

“I  _ didn’t! _ I mean, I don’t! I mean-- agh!” Brooke buries her face in her hands and quails. “There’s a reason why I ask you about things instead of just coming up with them myself!”

 

“Okay, alright, I’m sorry. Let’s start over. Where do  _ you _ want to go on a date?”

 

“What about Jeremy?”

 

“Forget about him for now. Dates should be about compromise, but one of the most important things is that both people are genuinely happy with where they’re going.”

 

“Well…” Brooke leans back on her cushy bed with a  _ fwump _ , letting her hair sprawl around her as she considers her options. “Eating is nice in theory, but in practice, I think Jeremy would feel like he has to pay, and we both know I’m not assertive enough to tell him no.”

 

“Got it. No restaurants.” Her mom hums, considering something. “Do places that serve snacks count?”

 

“Mmm, I don’t think so. Snacks are more of an individual thing, y’know?”

 

“Alright. No restaurants, but snacks are okay. Keep going.”

 

“We could go to the movies, but that seems a little much for a first date.”

 

“Movies, nada.”

 

“Coming here is a  _ definite _ no. Like, sorry, Mom, I just can’t do that yet. You understand. Plus, I think he’d be scared out of his mind to come to my house. I once saw him jump at his own shadow.” She chuckles at the memory of Jeremy’s slight squeal as he held onto Michael, who was laughing hysterically.

 

“Alright. Ix-nay on the ouse-hay.”

 

“I guess we could… I dunno, go mini golf or bowling or something? Yeah, no, I knew that was a bad idea before I said it.” Brooke sighs in frustration, turning to lay her head on her mom’s lap. “I’m never gonna figure this out.”

 

“I wouldn’t say  _ that. _ It just takes a while.” Her mother leans down to give her a kiss on the head. Brooke’s nostrils are overwhelmed by the smell of the hairspray holding her honey blonde artificial curls together. “First dates are tough, but you’ll figure it out. What do we always say?”

 

“Just because I’m Lohst doesn’t mean I’m lost.” Brooke sits up, rolling her eyes with a fond smile.

 

“Exactly.” The sound of another door opening makes both their attentions turn to the hallway. “That must be your father.” Brooke’s mom sighs fondly, a serene smile on her face. Even after twenty years of marriage, seventeen of which she’s been alive, Brooke’s parents are still in their honeymoon phase. The display comforts her and quells some of her own anxiety about Jeremy. Maybe things won’t be so bad after all.

 

“Alright, I’ll be down later. Still gotta figure out this date.”

 

“Come down whenever.” Before leaving her room, Brooke’s mom gives her one last hug, then runs to wherever her dad is waiting. Finally, Brooke is alone again, and she relishes in the buzzing silence of her empty room. Her head is much clearer after talking her thoughts out. Now all she has to do is--

 

Wait.

 

Transportation! It's how long before the date, and she hasn't even thought of how she'd get there?! Brooke says this a lot about herself, but she really does feel like Local Idiot Number One. At least talking to Jeremy about that gives her an excuse to procrastinate figuring out a location. Plus,  _ bonding time. _ With _ Jeremy! _ What's better than that?

 

_ princessbaby: hi Jerry :)))! _

 

_ jewemy heewe is typing… _

 

_ jewemy heewe: owo who's this?? _

 

_ jewemy heewe: JDJDHDHDJDBHX _

 

_ jewemy heewe: sorry that was a friend _

 

_ jewemy heewe: really tho who is this _

 

Brooke chuckles a little at the exchange.  _ Cute. _

 

_ princessbaby: its Brooke!! From school? We talked?? _

 

_ jewemy heewe: oh!! Hi Brooke :) what's up? _

 

_ princessbaby: nm :) wbu? _

 

_ jewemy heewe: hanging with Michael _

 

_ jewemy heewe: who says sorry btw. Actually he hasn't but I'm apologizing for him bc he's a nice guy and will probably come to his senses eventually _

 

Brooke cringes at the reminder of the morning's events. Embarrassment, fear, and shame claw at her ribcage again, but they don't escape this time. She's at home now, safe from the judging eyes of her peers.

 

_ princessbaby: oh that?? I'm alright now !! Dw about it  _ is what she replies with, the abridged, inaccurate truth. If Brooke has learned one thing about guys, it's that trying to talk about feelings with them is just a waste of time. Jeremy might understand better than most of them. Brooke remembers that he once broke down sobbing in front of their Honors English class because he had a social anxiety-induced panic attack. Both times, she pities him, and wants to reach out.  _ Focus, Brooke! You have to plan! _

 

_ jewemy heewe: if it's not u can tell me, ik we don't talk but like _

 

_ jewemy heewe: oh God this is weird sorry nvm _

 

_ princessbaby: you're sweet :) thank you _

 

_ princessbaby: I did text u with a mission tho!! I realized we didnt talk about transportation for tmrw! _

 

_ jewemy heewe: oh that?? I talked to my Dad, he said he can drive us?? He's kind of weird tho and I know u have a car so _

 

_ princessbaby: the one I use is my mom's car actually lol, I only use mine for special occasions bc I wanna keep my baby girl clean _

 

_ princessbaby: ...soooo I guess we can take it for a spin tmrw ;) it is a date after all _

 

_ Oh my God. Oh. My. God. Why did I just say that?! I just flirted! With Jeremy! He looks like he can be blown over with one breeze, I probably scared him away!  _ Shaking her head to get her initial anxiety out of the way, Brooke slowly inches her face up from her pillow, opening one eye to look for a response. The timestamp on her text reads  _ 1m ago _ , and just after she looks up,  _ read 4:00 PM. _

 

_ jewemy heewe is typing… _

 

Oh, thank God. They're still good.

 

_ jewemy heewe: jdhdbdhcjdjdhdh _

 

_ jewemy heewe: I don't /know/??? I don't want you to waste gas money on me Brooke _

 

_ princessbaby: it wouldnt be a waste tho, _ Brooke responds, frowning a little as she types it.  _ My family's so rich they could buy like 10 gallons for every one that I use. _ A bit of an exaggeration, but anything to make Jeremy feel better about “wasting gas money.”

 

_ jewemy heewe is typing… _

 

_ jewemy heewe: if you say so then I guess we'll take your car??? Jxndndjx that sounds really passive aggressive I swear I don't mean it like that _

 

_ jewemy heewe: but yeah that would be ok. I guess pick me up after I'm done hanging out with Michael then?? We don't really have a set end time but still _

 

_ princessbaby: how's 2ish sound?? We can both eat lunch beforehand and then go somewhere _

 

_ jewemy heewe: yeah that sounds good!! Where are we going though lol? _

 

_ princessbaby: it's a surprise Jerry ;) xx _

 

_ princessbaby: I think you'll like it tho!! I go there a lot and it's really nice _

 

_ jewemy heewe: I trust your judgement haha :) see you later then? _

 

_ princessbaby: c u l8r :) _

 

_ jewemy heewe: bye Brooke! Text me when ur on ur way! _

 

_ princessbaby: I will! Have fun with Michael!! :) _

 

* * *

 

A day and one quick shower later, Brooke leaves for her date. She gets in her car with nervous excitement and quickly shuts the door behind her. The cold leather seats touch her skin, and she hisses with the intensity of it.

 

“Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck, _ ” she curses, reaching out a shaky hand to turn the ignition. A blast of warm air rushes from the extra-fast heating system.  _ It's the small things that make having money great, _ Brooke thinks, smiling as she buckles herself in.

 

The drive to Michael's house is over within fifteen minutes. Brooke doesn't really remember what happened during the ride, which is kind of disturbing, but she doesn't think about it for too long.

 

_ princessbaby: I'm you _

 

_ princessbaby: because im here _

 

_ princessbaby: get it _

 

This is it. The moment of truth. In a couple minutes, Jeremy would see the real Brooke Lohst, unconstrained by Middleborough High School's oppressive society. A sharp knock on the passenger seat window nearly scares Brooke's soul out of her body, but the fear recedes once she sees Jeremy.

 

“Come in.” Brooke calls.

 

“It's the pun police. You're under arrest.” Jeremy states in his best baritone. “You have the right to remain silent. Any puns you make can and will be-- ow!” Jeremy's voice cracks in pain as his head bangs against the top of the car door, and Brooke can't help but laugh. His entire body language screams regret.

 

“Sorry, I'm sorry,” Brooke grins, “that timing was awesome. Do you talk to all the girls like that?”

 

“I talk to girls? That's new. Wait, no! N-not that-- that _ you're _ not a girl! You're a girl, and we're talking right now, and I'm shutting up. Now.”

 

“Jerry, it's alright. I won't bite. Promise.”

 

“If you say so.” Jeremy sighs. He leans his head against the seatbelt, and Brooke is disappointed that he's stopped talking so soon (not because she likes hearing his voice or anything) until he starts again. “So, uh, where _ are _ we going? I brought forty bucks just in case.”

 

“You don't _ need _ money, that's what's so great about it.” Brooke smiles as she restarts the car. “You just go there.”

 

“Is this gonna be a guessing game?” Jeremy asks, amused. “And is there a solution? Or are you gonna be like, ‘surprise, this was the date the whole time! You were punked!’? Because I'm not great at those.”

 

“If you want it to be a guessing game, I guess it can be.” It's surreal how much Brooke is enjoying simple conversation with Jeremy. She hasn't even thought about how she looks to him once in the past few minutes. Her previous dates always made her self-conscious, but Jeremy makes her feel like the best person in the world. _Okay, Brooke, it's not that deep._ _But it_ is _pretty great._

 

“Okay, uh… is it indoors?”

 

“Nope! Uh, you brought warm clothes, right? Because I can drive you back to your house if you need.”

 

“This should be alright.” Brooke thinks the navy blue down jacket with way too many pockets is a bit excessive, but she's not one to judge. Who brings 5 different hand sanitizers with them at all times?

 

“Good. Hit me again.”

 

“Is it… an outdoor exhibit?”

 

“No outdoor exhibits. Though I do like those! There's a modern art one in my neighborhood once every couple weeks.”

 

“Is it… Okay, I'll be honest, I'm kind of out of ideas. Please don't drive me to the middle of nowhere, Brooke, I have too much to live for!”

 

“So do I, which is why this is _ not _ a kidnapping mission.” Brooke pauses. “ _ This time. _ ”

 

“Brooke, how _ could you?! _ ” Jeremy gasps, putting a hand on his chest in fake aghastness.

 

“It's not my fault! Chloe made me do it!”

 

“Miss Valentine made you do it, eh, Miss Lohst? How would I know you're telling the truth?!”

 

“Because…” Brooke trails off. She looks at Jeremy, who stares back at her, and they both burst into unrestrained, gut-busting laughter. It's ugly, it's distracting, but it's the best Brooke has felt since that afternoon.

 

“Oh-- oh my God!” Jeremy wheezes, wiping away a stray tear. “ _ Miss Valentine? _ What the hell?”

 

“Hey, you said it! Wait a minute, did you do this to sidetrack me?!”

 

“Oh, please, I could never.” Jeremy says, smiling as his breathing settles back into a rhythm. “Seriously, though, where are we going?”

 

“You'll see.” Brooke reaches over the console and pats his hand. “Just you wait. Just. You. _ Wait. _ ”

 

After about five minutes of aimless driving, Brooke is forced to admit to herself that she has no idea where she’s taking them. It doesn’t help that Jeremy isn’t offering any suggestions. To be fair, though, Brooke  _ did _ have the job of coming up with a location, since she’s the one who made the first move. She pulls to a random curb on the street leading out of her neighborhood to gather herself.

 

“So, um--” Brooke starts, at the same time that Jeremy says “Uh, Brooke?” Her face warms up and she gives a little awkward giggle.

 

“You go first.” Jeremy offers.

 

“Uh, I… Thought I had somewhere planned for us to go, but as it turns out…”

 

“You don’t know? It’s alright. If it makes you feel better, I was liking  _ this _ a whole lot.”

 

“I wanna take you somewhere  _ nice _ , though!” Brooke protests. “Like, a place where you’d actually have fun as opposed to… Not having fun?”

 

“You could just drive until we find something.” Jeremy shrugs, leaning back in his seat.

 

“... I guess.”  _ Okay, Brooke, step it up. This date has been a total failure so far. You may as well just drop him back off at this rate. _ “I-- I'm _ really _ sorry, I was supposed to have a location planned, and I couldn't even do that!”

 

“Hey, it's alright. Just talking to you is-- oh my God. Oh my God!” Jeremy cuts himself off.

 

“What, what is it? Are you ok?”

 

“Look! Over there!” Brooke follows the path of Jeremy's finger, and finds a display of blinking, colorful lights around a neon sign reading--

 

“The Fall Carnival! It's here! How didn't I know that? Doesn't matter, let's go! Uh, if you want, I mean.”

 

“Yes,  _ yes, _ I've been dying to go for a year now!”

 

“Great!” Brooke shifts the car back into drive and books it towards the carnival. Really, how hadn't she heard before now? Oh well. This kind of convenience is a miracle, and Brooke will welcome it with open arms.

 

* * *

 

The inside of the carnival feels as magical as the first time Brooke went. Old-fashioned stands fully stocked with freshly made apple and pumpkin delicacies border half of the left side, stands with assorted dinners covering the other half. To Brooke's right, games of all kinds are on active display, including her old favorite, fishing for ducks. At the far end of the grounds, a large pumpkin patch grows next to a small petting zoo. Finally, in the center, an enormous, rainbow-colored Ferris wheel stands proud, dwarfing the test of strength a short distance away.

 

“ _ Wow, _ ” Brooke breathes, as she does every year. “It's amazing.”

 

“I know, right? The only thing that would make this better is if we were here at night.” Jeremy beams. The genuine smile on his face is, honest to God, the most adorable thing Brooke has ever seen.  _ Would it be too soon to kiss him? Not until you get this date _ (with the cutest boy you've ever met)  _ on its way! _

 

“Okay, where do you wanna go first? I'm open to anything.”

 

“Maybe let's just explore? I don't know either. Plus, it makes for some awesome nostalgia fuel.”

 

“Sounds good to me.”  _ That dork. Who says “nostalgia fuel” anymore? I love him--  _ it _. I love  _ it. 

 

Suddenly, Jeremy grabs Brooke's hand to pull her along. It's probably an instinctual gesture from all his time spent with Michael, but it makes Brooke's world stop. She can't do anything but focus on the feeling of their hands intertwined. Jeremy's hand is so intoxicatingly warm and fits so _ perfectly _ in Brooke's that she never wants to let go. Then, Jeremy calls out to her, and Brooke realizes that she's stopped moving, her Ugg boots tethered to the ground.

 

“Brooke? You okay?” Jeremy, apparently, still doesn't notice that they're holding hands. Brooke just sighs and chooses not to say anything. After all, if she points it out, he might let go.

 

“Yeah, I'm fine. Just… Looking around is all.”

 

“Alright, cool.”

 

As the two of them stroll around the carnival hand-in-hand, memories of Brooke's childhood come alive before her. A smaller, younger version of Brooke stands pouting by the dart throwing booth, her mom with a consoling hand on her shoulder. Then, joyful toddler Brooke stands on her tiptoes, making grabby hands at her first ever slice of fresh apple pie. Brooke from a couple years ago leans on the petting zoo's white picket fence as she strokes a goat's head. Carving pumpkins with Chloe and her parents, diving into a pile of crunchy leaves, and being elated at winning a stuffed animal are all reasons why Brooke loves coming here. She wants to share all these memories with Jeremy, making new ones along the way. And, Brooke finds, she wants to hear his stories as well.

 

“Michael and I come here every year.” Jeremy says. “I wonder if he's actually mad that I'm here with you instead.”

 

“I think you're okay.”

 

“Thanks, Brooke. You're pretty okay yourself.” Jeremy winks at Brooke, which makes her laugh and gently shove him away.

 

“No, Jeremy! I mean, yeah, but that's not what I was trying to say.”

 

“Y-you think I'm…  _ okay? _ ” Jeremy mutters, bashfully shuffling his feet. “Like…  _ okay _ okay?”

 

“Yeah.” Brooke smiles gently. “I think you're okay.”

 

“Alright, okay, let's go!” Speedwalking across the fairgrounds, away from his feelings, Jeremy gives Brooke a pair of awkward finger guns.

 

“Where exactly are we going?” Brooke asks. She has to dash a little to catch up with him.

 

“Darts!”

 

“Oh, fun! Can I go too?”

 

“Sure! I'll go first, though, if that's okay with you. I want to win something.” Truth be told, Brooke is somewhat skeptical that her date has the precise hand-eye coordination needed to win anything at darts. But she doesn't say that. Jeremy's full of surprises; plus, openly doubting him would just be mean.

 

“Yeah, okay.” 

 

“Then it's settled. Darts.”

 

* * *

 

At the front of the darts booth is a bored-looking carnival worker about their age. Brooke's seen her around occasionally in previous years, but she's not sure if the long-haired girl would know who she is. She noticeably perks up when she sees customers, back straightening and elbow lifting off the table.

 

“Hello and welcome to the darts booth!” She chirps. “How many would you like?”

 

“Well, it depends on the prices--”

 

“Three.” With uncharacteristic seriousness, Jeremy fishes a couple dollars out from his pocket, sliding them across the table like in an old Western movie.

 

“Alright, here you go.” The worker fishes three rainbow darts from a shelf below the table. “We have a big target, a medium target, a small target, and an expert target.”

 

“Expert.”

 

“That'd be the one all the way to your right. Have fun, and be safe.” Jeremy has a slight swagger in his step as he walks to the dartboard, Brooke skittering along like a mouse behind him.

 

“You're really serious about this.”

 

“Yeah, I've kinda been doing this for a while now. It's one of the only things I'm good at.” Jeremy puts the darts down to crack his knuckles in preparation. “Alright, I'm ready.”

 

“You got this.”

 

“I got this.”

 

Brooke feels like she should stand back in case things go wrong, so she does. Jeremy getting into the zone is entertaining to watch. Like a cobra, he compresses himself, waiting to attack the target. Then, his eyes narrowed, he blinks- one, two, three times- and _ thwack! _ The dart hits the dead center of the target. Before Brooke has time to be impressed, dart number two punctures the microscopic space to the right of dart one. The third and final dart follows close behind.

 

“Done.” Jeremy stands back, proudly brushing his hands together.

 

“Holy _ shit. _ ” Brooke whispers. “Uh, um, excuse me! Miss! We're done!”

 

“Really? So soon? Let me see.” When she sees Jeremy's display, the carnival worker looks as surprised as Brooke feels, dramatically cleaning her glasses and then putting them back on. “Wow. Um, congrats! Here, let me take you to the prize rack.”

 

A short distance away is a towering green display stocked with stuffed animals of different types and sizes. Mostly, teddy bears of various colors hang off display hooks, but there are a few cats, dogs, and other animals. Brooke wonders what Jeremy will pick.

 

“So, what’ll it be? You can get anything you want after that.” Jeremy takes a step back, examining each animal on the display closely. _What could he be looking for? It should be easy to pick._ Then Brooke notices something- Jeremy’s also looking at _her,_ eyes flitting to her for a microsecond at a time and back so he doesn’t get caught. _He’s looking for…_ me? Jeremy would sacrifice his own win to give something to _Brooke?_ God, she could _cry!_ _I’m getting so emotional, and for what? It’s just a stuffed animal._ Something about the gesture- she guesses it’s the chivalry of it all- sends Brooke into an endless field of joy.

 

“That one.” Finally, Jeremy points at a lavender blue bear on the third row from the top. Big enough that it’s a token of affection, but small enough for Brooke to carry for the rest of the carnival.

 

“Gotcha. For you or for her?”

 

“For Brooke. Please.” The carnival worker climbs a moving ladder and grabs the bear off the hook. Backlighting from the sun makes her look like an angel, smiling down at Brooke as she gently hands her the sacred bear.

 

“Alright, there you go. Have a good day.” Brooke stands there for a second, still dazed by the kind soul that is Jeremy, before skittering to catch up to him.

 

“Thank you. That was really sweet.”

 

“No problem. I didn’t really want anything anyway.” Not very convincing, but Brooke won’t bother trying to argue. “What are you gonna name it?”

 

“Hmm…” Brooke beams at Jeremy with the bear in both her hands. In a classic  _ Lion King _ move, she puts her right foot behind her and lifts her arms to the sky. “I dub thee… Jeremy Bearimy!”

 

“Jeremy B-- wait, what?”

 

“It’s a reference. To  _ The Good Place. _ ” Jeremy’s expression remains completely neutral. “You haven’t watched  _ The Good Place _ ?!”

“Is that a dealbreaker for you?”

 

“Well, not really.” Brooke admits. “But in this one episode…”

 

* * *

 

After a wildly successful romp around the fairgrounds filled with merrymaking, sugar overloads, and storytelling, Brooke can honestly say that she's petered out. Her drooping eyelids indicate a need to go home, especially since she's the one who's driving. But Brooke doesn't want to leave without topping off the date with one last family tradition: riding the Ferris wheel. She's fairly certain in her ability to get Jeremy to come with her.

 

“Jeremy…” Brooke turns to the slouching boy next to her.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Do you wanna ride? The Ferris wheel, I mean. It's a family tradition kind of thing.”

 

“Sure. I need to sit anyway.” With Jeremy's hand in her right hand and Jeremy Bearimy in her left, Brooke and Jeremy walk to the Ferris wheel. They show their hand stamps to the operator and climb in a car together.

 

“Lucky you, the sunset ride. Remember to buckle up. Have fun, you kids.” The operator winks at them, closing the car door. One push of a button makes them lurch forward, inch by inch, until they're off the ground and a quarter around the wheel.

 

Brooke takes the opportunity to look at the fairgrounds from a bird's-eye view. Leaning her head against the cool window glass, she sees only a few other people around, mostly janitors picking up trash. Red, orange, and yellow stained glass signs emanate warm beams of light intensified by the setting sun. It's… Peaceful. Calming. A relaxing end to a day fraught with nerves.

 

“Nice place, huh?” Out of the corner of Brooke's eye, she can see Jeremy staring out the other window.

 

“Yeah. I never realized how pretty it is at sunset.”

 

“...thanks, Brooke. For taking me here.” Brooke pivots in her seat to see Jeremy's gentle smile.

 

“It's no trouble, really. I don't know about you, but I had fun.”

 

“Yeah, me too.”

 

“I'm glad.”

 

The conversation tapers off, leaving a heavy silence as the only sound. She and Jeremy keep shifting their gazes around, neither of them sure where to look, what to say, what to _do._ _It's getting close to the movie moment when the two lovers usually kiss,_ Brooke's mind supplies unhelpfully. Does she _want_ to kiss Jeremy? Would it be too soon? Before Brooke can contemplate any further, she finds that Jeremy's arm has slid under hers and across her shoulders in a slight embrace. The distance between their bodies closes as Brooke leans her head on Jeremy's shoulder. Her heart is about to beat out of her chest. She looks up at Jeremy, who looks down at her, and the tension between them only increases. Like a magnetic force is attracting them, Brooke slowly gravitates even further towards Jeremy. The sunset burns behind Jeremy as intensely as he gazes into Brooke's eyes. Closer- she can feel his breath on her lips- to incredibly, impossibly close, where their eyelashes gently lace together. Finally, as the Ferris wheel reaches its zenith, Brooke kisses Jeremy, soft and sweet and only for a second. The warmth lingers on her lips when she pulls away.

 

“Uh--!” Brooke, still dazed from the kiss, covers her gently open mouth with one hand. Jeremy slides to the corner of the car in embarrassment. “I didn't-- um, I mean, if you weren't  _ okay _ with that, um, I…”

 

“ _ Jeremy. _ ” The word tastes sweet, like honey dripping from Brooke's lips as she says it. She takes one of his hands and presses a reverent kiss to the back of it. Smiling, Brooke bats her eyelashes up at him, and it's all Jeremy seems to need to understand.

 

“Oh. You… Really like me that much?”

 

“Of course I do. I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't.”

 

“I…” Jeremy pauses. Brooke's throat tightens. They've been having such a wonderful time that it hasn't even occurred to her that Jeremy might not reciprocate.

 

“You…?”

 

“Really like you. I think. I don't know about a serious relationship yet, but being a _ thing _ with you… sounds perfect.”

 

_ Yes! Yes!  _ Yes! Brooke wants to get up from her seat and cartwheel with joy. Her crush likes her back! She wants to shout it to the world, because they all deserve to know.  _ Jeremy Heere likes me back! _ Brooke can see herself on top of the car, yelling it into the biggest megaphone possible. The sentiment, the feeling of pure, unrestrained elation, would echo through her voice like church bells on a Sunday. Not a single iota of happiness holds a candle to what Brooke feels right now. Then, she comes back down to Earth, realizing that she has to respond to a nervous-looking Jeremy.

 

“Absolutely. We can always be a thing.” Jeremy gives Brooke a euphoric ear to ear grin. Suddenly, he lurches forward to wrap her in a firm but gentle bear hug, to which Brooke responds by clenching her fists around the soft fabric of Jeremy's cardigan.

 

“That's amazing.” Then, the car lands, and both of them step out, Brooke and then Jeremy.

 

“ _ You're _ amazing.” Brooke turns to the operator. “Thank you.”

 

“You're quite welcome. Have a great evening.”

 

“You, too.”

 

Walking back from the carnival, Brooke doesn't hesitate to hold Jeremy's hand. He clings onto her like he's found a bottle of purified water in the world's driest desert.  _ Yeah, _ Brooke thinks as she gets in her car, _ I found myself a keeper this time. And I'm  _ not _ letting him go. _

 

* * *

 

On every date Brooke's ever been on, this is her least favorite part: the goodbyes. She's never sure if the guy will want to see her again, or even if he had a good time on the date. With Jeremy it's different. Brooke feels confident that the two are naturally driven towards each other. Okay,  _ maybe _ there's some lingering post-kiss high clouding her thoughts a little, but does she care?

 

“This really was great, Brooke.” Jeremy tells her as she turns onto the street leading into his neighborhood. “Thank you.”

 

“It's nothing. Even if I didn't have fun, I still got to spend time with you, and that's what my goal was.”

 

“That's…” When Jeremy pauses, Brooke frowns a bit, unnoticeable to anyone not in a six-inch radius. “Why?”

 

The question sweeps Brooke from under her feet. Is he seriously asking why _ he _ would catch Brooke's eye enough for her to tolerate, much less have a crush on him? As if she hasn't already told him?  _...Have I told him? _ Brooke comes to the horrifying realization that not once, not even after they  _ kissed _ , has she thought to tell Jeremy why she likes him. The poor guy probably doesn't have anyone but Michael and his Dad to compliment him! Oh my God, is she his _ first date? _ Brooke is Jeremy's first date!  _ And _ his first kiss! What if he's been saving those, only for some girl who barely knows him to steal them away?!  _ He agreed to the date when you asked him, so that has to count for _ something, Brooke's rational brain tells her, but the familiar panic rising in her chest blocks out its voice.

 

“You don't have to answer, Brooke, I'm sorry.” From outside her own head, Brooke faintly registers Jeremy speaking. “That's a really loaded question.”

 

“No, no.” Brooke insists. “I should have let you know from the start.” Suddenly, they're at an impasse: Jeremy's driveway, where Brooke is supposed to say goodbye until Monday.

 

“Really, it's--”

 

“Jeremy Heere.” The guy in question closes his mouth with a  _ click _ .

 

“Mhmm?”

 

“ _ You _ are probably the prettiest, wittiest, sweetest guy I have ever been on a date with. And that's saying a lot! Me being who I am, I've been on a lot of dates with a lot of guys. But when I actually talked to them, all they were interested in was themselves… Or Chloe. Some of them would  pretend to be interested in me just to ask when she was free. The worst ones asked if I thought they would be a good match based on the date we just had. Even Jake Dillinger couldn't pass that litmus test. Guys that actually _ were _ interested in me, well… it's been clear that they've only ever wanted to get in my pants.

 

“But _ you? _ Not once on this whole date have you brought up Chloe, or any other girl, _ or _ ‘what we might do after the date,’ to quote a cheating ex of mine. Never once have I felt pressured into sharing or doing anything that I didn't want to. Besides that, though, I love your jokes! You're funny and sarcastic in a way that I haven't heard much of from anyone. And just… Yeah.”

 

“You’re…” Jeremy turns away from Brooke, blushing a pretty pink. Yellow light from inside his house illuminates his face in a gentle glow. “You’re really sweet, Brooke. But… I have to get home. Let’s do this again sometime.”

 

“Sure.” Brooke leaps out of her car, gently landing on the ground, and walks around to the other side. This is it: the real goodbye. She doesn’t want him to leave even if they’ll see each other again on Monday. It feels like forever. 

 

“Well…” When they reach Jeremy’s door, Brooke leans in for a long, tender hug. Enticing scents of lavender and fabric softener come from his signature blue cardigan.  _ So soft… _

 

Eventually, Brooke has to pull away. The air around her feels freezing compared to Jeremy’s gentle warmth. She doesn’t think she can survive this cold going home. So, before they part, she stands on her tiptoes, capturing one last honeyed kiss from her love. “See you Monday, Jer.”

 

“Y-yeah, see ya.” With some jangling keys and the slam of a door, Brooke’s date with Jeremy comes to a smooth, successful end.

 

(The kiss keeps her warm the whole drive home.)

 

* * *

 

When Brooke comes to school on Monday, invigorated with a happiness she's never felt before, her heart promptly drops into her stomach. Chloe stands there with her arms crossed, Jenna shifting guiltily behind her.  _ She knows. Oh, God, Chloe knows about Jeremy. _ Well, now Brooke's been seen. No going back. She has to confess.

 

“Brooke!” Chloe wails, embracing Brooke in a grip that takes her breath away.

 

“Hi, Brooke.” Jenna waves from over Chloe's shoulder.

 

“I wasn't talking to you,  _ Jenna! _ ”

 

“What Chloe means to say,” Brooke interjects softly, “is that the two of us need to talk. Privately.”

 

“Oh. Uh, okay. See you later?” Jenna asks, even more deflated than earlier.

 

“Later.” Brooke waves goodbye to the rainbow-coated girl as she shuffles into the school building. Now it's just her and Chloe. “So, um--”

 

“Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?” For the first time in years, maybe since seventh grade, Chloe's face falls. She looks… Genuinely hurt. “I thought we were best friends, telling each other everything and all that.”

 

“Because you don't like Jeremy. It's better that you didn't know.”

 

“That doesn't matter to me!” Chloe bursts out. “Brooke, I don't _ care _ who you date, so long as it's not Madeline or someone who hurts you.” Brooke has to laugh at the image of herself and Madeline holding hands, kissing, doing all the things she and Jeremy did at the Fall Carnival.

 

“Then you should have made that more clear.” Uncharacteristically, Brooke's voice is firm and insistent, the way Chloe's usually is, and her best friend's is resigned and regretful.

 

“Look, we've known each other a long time. I know I can be kind of a shitty friend--”

 

“You're not that bad--”

 

“Let me apologize!” Then, softer, “Please?”

 

“Go ahead, Chlo.”

 

“Yeah, I can be awful sometimes, but… I really care about you, Brooke. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't there. It gets pretty boring talking to myself.” Chloe smiles a bit, soft and sincere.

 

“I know. But you know there's always Jenna, right? She's really sweet once you get to know her.”

 

“Please, like she'd be willing to talk to me after _ that. _ ” Silence passes over the two best friends, neither relaxed nor uncomfortable, as Brooke waits patiently for Chloe to finish thinking. She checks the time. 7:50. God, it's early. Why do they make classes start when nobody's awake enough to learn? Suddenly, quiet vibrations buzz against her hip, signaling the arrival of a text from someone.

 

“I should check this.” Brooke smiles apologetically. Chloe waves away any offense as if she can make it disappear, like smoke dissipating into cool night air.

 

“It's fine. I should probably go anyway. Ms. K was _ awful _ on Friday, and I'm not in the mood to deal with that.”

 

“Oof. Good luck, Chlo. See ya.”

 

“Bye, Brooke.” After a few seconds of staring at Chloe's gently swaying auburn hair, Brooke checks her phone, the message on it making her blush.

 

_ 1 new message _

 

_ jewemy heewe: gm Brooke :) I saw u with Chloe but didn't want 2 interrupt. U ok? _

 

_ princessbaby: ya I'm fine!!! ur so sweet to ask tho omg <3 _

 

_ Is a heart emoji moving too fast? _ Brooke's eyes widen as she rereads her text.  _ What if I'm pressuring him and he cheats or leaves like my other boyfriends? Is he even my-- _

 

_ jewemy heewe: <3?! <3!!!!!!! _

 

_ princessbaby: hhhhhhhhhwhatdoesthatmean _

 

_ jewemy heewe: IDK JUST LIKE _

_ jewemy heewe: That's the first time I've ever gotten a heart emoji from anyone? In a non-joking way???? _

_ jewemy heewe: I mean like Michael sends me them sometimes but??? _

_ jewemy heewe: Anyway. It's… Nice _

_ jewemy heewe: hhh sorry if I made u worry or anything _

 

_ princessbaby: no it's fine!!! honestly your response was WAY better than I expected _

_ princessbaby: not bc of you or anything but like…. Y'know. _

 

_ jewemy heewe: I do know :( _

_ jewemy heewe: Brooke u deserve a lot better!!! If I could beat your exes up I would but u know I'm a beanpole!!! _

 

Brooke giggle-snorts to herself at the last message. Beanpole hasn't ever crossed her mind as a word to describe Jeremy, but now that he's used it, she realizes that it fits him perfectly.

 

_ princessbaby: ok beanpole don't get ahead of urself lol _

_ princessbaby: after history u should eat lunch w me!! if Michael doesn't mind _

 

If Jeremy chooses to eat with Brooke, this will completely break Middleborough's social hierarchy as everyone knows it. She's not actually sure she's ready for that responsibility. However, she does have the privilege of being at the top with Chloe and Jake, the highest echelon of high school society. Nobody except the two of them can question Brooke on her decision of who to (literally) bring to the table. But… How would the people in question react to Brooke's decision? She just wants to spend time with Jeremy, it shouldn't have to be this complicated!

 

_ jewemy heewe: I'll see!! _

_ jewemy heewe: ….Do you promise I won't get beat up tho?? _

 

_ princessbaby: no promises but! If it comes up I'll try to stop it! _

 

_ jewemy heewe: hhhhh ok _

_ jewemy heewe: See you in history ig! _

 

_ princessbaby: see u! _

 

Well, this endeavor could either succeed wonderfully or fail horribly. Jeremy could be protected from the harassment he faced by associating with their little group of friends. On the other hand, Brooke could fall from grace entirely and be superseded as Chloe's best friend and second in command. She's always kept the mindset that the latter could happen at any second to keep herself on guard, so that anxiety is mostly lost on her. But… What will happen to Jeremy if things don't work out for him? Brooke dreads to imagine being in a worse spot on the social ladder than Jeremy's current one. That spot, the one even lower than Jeremy and Michael, has since opened up when Rich gained upward mobility seemingly overnight. The dark abyss of only having yourself as a friend is gaping wide and ready to drag down the nearest bystander. Brooke just has to hope that Jeremy won't fall in.

 

* * *

 

By the time lunch rolls around, Brooke's got no appetite for it, her stomach having spun through the laundry cycle of 42 different emotions in three and a half hours. She probably has a serious case of RBF right now. If Chloe or Jake think anything is wrong, they give no indication that they've noticed, choosing to bicker with each other over something petty instead. Their debate just gets louder and faster as they approach the lunch table, along with the beating of Brooke's heart in her ears. Whatever those two are arguing about reaches a cadence of blaring disagreement, until-

 

“Jerry, oh thank God,” Chloe sighs in relief, as if she's welcoming a long-time friend and not someone she's done nothing but harass for as long as she's known him. “Can you solve this for us?”

 

“Uh, sure,” Jeremy responds, puzzled. To Brooke's immense relief, he goes along with it. “What's the problem you're having?”

 

“Um, first of all, I don't _ have _ problems-”

 

“Is water wet?” Jake interjects. Oh, God, not this again.

 

“Guys,  _ seriously? _ ” Brooke drags a hand down her face. “You've been asking this question for months.”

 

“And I still don't have an answer!” Chloe snaps. “Well?” She looks at Jeremy like he's some sort of calculator or search engine as he thinks over how to respond.

 

“Well,” he starts slowly, “water makes things wet.”

 

“Aha!”

 

“But!” Jeremy interrupts, “That doesn't mean water as a substance is wet by itself.”

 

“ _ How?! _ ” Jake asks, throwing his hands in the air. “That doesn't even make sense! How can something not be wet by itself but make other things wet?”

 

“ _ Because, _ ” Chloe snarks, “water makes things wet by being on top of them. Water can't be on top of itself. That's not how water works.”

 

“Exactly.” Jeremy nods. He takes a seat beside Brooke and kisses her cheek, which makes her face heat up in record time. “So, um…”

 

“Chloe and Jake,” Brooke starts, “Jeremy. Jeremy, well… You know them.”

 

“I thought you were gay.” Jake squints, but shakes Jeremy's hand anyway. “You better not be using Brooke as a beard.”

 

“Don't worry, Jake. If our date was any indication, this guy's _definitely_ not gay.” Brooke wiggles her eyebrows.

 

“We didn't do anything but kiss, I swear!” Jeremy says.

 

“Sure, kid.”

 

“God, Jake, leave him alone.” Chloe reaches out to shake Jeremy's hand next. “Sorry about my boyfriend. He's a little off his game today. I'm Chloe, but you knew that.”

 

“Hi, Chloe.” Jeremy winces, either at the unexpected strength of Chloe's grip or the long acrylics digging into his hand.

 

“So… I have an announcement for you both.” Brooke clears her throat. “Jeremy and I…”

 

“Are kind of a thing now. Tentatively.” Her boyfriend (!) picks up her lost train of thought.

 

“And we wanted to tell you guys before anyone else to make sure you're okay with it going public.” That's a lie, Jenna already knows, but Brooke sure as hell isn't going to tell that to Chloe.

 

“I mean, sure, I guess.” Jake shrugs. “As long as you want to, Brooke. I just don't know how Rich will take it.”

 

“I'm sure it'll be fine.” Chloe chips in. “If it makes you feel any better, I can always make him cry if he doesn't cooperate. You know how good I am at that.”

 

“Please don't make my best friend cry, Chlo.”

 

“No promises. Anyway, it's fine. You're with me; no one will question it. And if they do, well… You know.”

 

“I do know.” Brooke slumps against the table, sprawling her arms out in relief. Each hand finds one of Chloe's and one of Jake's. “Thank you guys, so much.”

 

“Yeah, she was really worried.” Jeremy confirms.

 

“No prob, Bob.” Jake smiles, rubbing Brooke's hand comfortingly with one thumb. “You know you can always come to us.”

 

“Yeah. And you too, I guess, Jerry, since you're kind of with us now.” Chloe adds.

 

“I'll think about it.” Jeremy smiles, sincerely. A few moments of silence pass over the table before the odd couple gets right back to arguing. Brooke looks at Jeremy to her right, then her best friends across from her, and finds herself immensely grateful for the people by her side.

**Author's Note:**

> GOOD LORD DID THIS TAKE AGES TO WRITE. Thank you so, so, so, so, so much to Julia for organizing the Be More Chill Big Bang, and to Kas, for making a wonderful animatic (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1F8813Iwic) of my fic! Everyone involved is so incredibly talented. If you like Be More Chill, check out the other works in this collection. And thank you, reader, for deciding to peruse my longest, proudest work so far. I sincerely hope the effort I put in is worth it.


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